WOMEN’S FORUM: Fighting is productive

28 Aug, 2020 - 00:08 0 Views
WOMEN’S FORUM: Fighting is productive


Nhlalwenhle Ncube

RELATIONSHIPS are not perfect and considering that no two people are the same, there will be differences of opinion, behaviour and conflicts will happen no matter how in love a couple may be. It is a good thing not to pretend and be real so that whenever you fight, it brings you closer and you get to learn how to handle each other. Couples that do not fight and bottle up a lot of things usually do not last for a long time together.

Fighting and being realistic helps couples to have healthy and productive relationships for a long time. In fact, couples who argue often, but always in a peaceful manner are more likely to stay together because despite all the small misunderstandings, they know that their love is true and sincere. So fighting from time to time can be good for your relationship.

Constant conflict avoidance is definitely not the best way to build a long-lasting relationship. On the contrary, if you are able to speak your mind clearly when arguing, it means that you are ready to take your love to another level. Mature people do not resort to personal attacks or yelling. Instead, they always try to reach a compromise and improve their relationship with the help of a healthy argument.

Every relationship needs a strong foundation and you need to be honest to yourself and your partner. Of course, it would be much easier to just turn a blind eye to some of your partner’s habits that drive you crazy. But the fact that you are ready to withstand all the pain and discomfort of fighting to get a better result in the future may be a sign of your true love. In other words, arguing means that you are more committed.

Just remember — how often do you fight with your parents or your siblings? The same goes for your partner. If you argue a lot and always get over it, this means that you see the bigger picture with your loved one.

Fighting helps to make your communication easier. In order to create trust in your relationship, you shouldn’t keep quiet. Choosing to bottle issues up will make you bitter and full of anger. You may end up unable to resolve issues if you allow them to pile up. On the contrary, it’s necessary to approach your partner with an open mind, taking responsibility for your actions and listening to each other carefully. Since arguing is one of the major forms of communication and the most honest one, it really helps to accelerate the feelings of intimacy, trust, connection and to teach your partner how to communicate with you in a more productive way.

It is said that arguing is one of the key points to a healthy and happy relationship. In fact, if a couple never argues, this may be a sign that something isn’t quite right with them. Arguing helps couples reconsider their values and feelings by addressing and discussing the things that are important to them. However, your argument should be healthy and non-combative, always try to state your points without name-calling or raising your voice. Fighting makes your connection stronger. When you are arguing with your partner, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose.

The most valuable thing is that you learn a lot about each other and even more importantly, about yourself. Small conflicts help both of you to reveal your true nature and show your partner how to deal with it. And if you manage to overcome all the challenges together, you will learn how to compromise and strengthen the bond between you.

Being in a relationship is not that easy, if you care about your partner, you always have to flex your boundaries. And if they don’t do the same for you, you may start feeling resentful. Not standing your ground when it comes to the things that are important to you may make your partner think that they can have whatever they want and your resentment will only grow. That’s the road to an unhealthy relationship.

The best way to deal with this problem is to let your negative feelings out and show your partner that you are equals with your own needs.

Fighting means you are more likely to stay together. The biggest mistake that couples usually make is avoidance, when you often feel that something is wrong but say nothing. And this poor communication becomes the most common reason for breaking up. Although you may believe that discussing sensitive issues won’t do any good for your relationship, that’s actually not true. Fighting allows you to focus on your problems and to solve them before they become too large. That’s why couples who argue stay together for a long period of time.

Some couples really enjoy intense arguments because they increase their hormone levels. Subconsciously, those people know that fighting is just a sign of their passion and their disagreement will end up being an even more passionate makeup. If you want to keep your relationship strong and thriving, it’s necessary to let your emotions out from time to time rather than to hold them in. But don’t forget to finish any argument in a positive way.

Even if you have been together for several years, there will always be some things you do not agree on. And that’s not bad at all, constructive conflicts may fuel the spark of your relationship and make it more exciting. Just imagine how boring your love would be if you both always agreed on everything! So don’t panic next time you feel that there’s going to be an argument between you and your loved one. Instead, try to make it beneficial for your relationship. It’s always important to remember that there’s a difference between “good fighting” and “bad fighting” and only the good one can be beneficial for your relationship.

Respect each other knowing that you are both human beings with your own weak points, so don’t hit below the belt and put pressure on the things that might irreversibly hurt your partner.

Apologise if you were wrong, admit it and say that you are sorry. This small action won’t make you feel weaker. On the contrary, it will show your partner that you still care about them. Always stick to the point and never bring up the experience of your previous relationships or your partner’s mistakes that you once dealt with. You have only one point to talk about, so be precise and not remind him of past issues.

Communicate effectively and open up so your relationship lasts longer. Small conflicts help both of you to reveal your true nature and show your partner how to deal with it. And if you manage to overcome all the challenges together, you will learn how to compromise and strengthen the bond between you.

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