THERE is one bad habit which I have realised and honestly it does not sit well with me. Why is it that nowadays whenever a woman asks for marriage advice from others, she is simply told to divorce. Worse, at times it will be problems that can easily be solved not to do with serious abuse. In all this, I have realised people just get married for fashion and do not have any goals making life difficult for them. Having no life or marriage goals, is a recipe for disaster.
Many have this misconception that once they get married, they will live happily ever after. The reality, however, is that marriage requires work and effort from you and your partner. Love brings you together, but conscious, continuous effort makes your marriage a success. It takes effort to protect, nurture, and grow a marriage.
Toying with the idea that you might be better off outside of your marriage can put a major strain on your relationship — even if you never voice those thoughts. In fact, the thought alone might cause a major break in your motivation to try to improve your marriage. To combat the risk to your relationship, decide ahead of time that divorce is not an option. Making the commitment will help you focus on making your partnership stronger rather than thinking about what life might be like outside your marriage.
Marriage goals give you something to work toward and a reason to depend upon each other. They are a great way to grow your marriage. In the pursuit of your goals, you will give it your best and you will not get carried away.
This will help your marriage thrive. Considering the high rate of divorce, it would be unfortunate if you do not give your marriage the proper attention and nourishment it needs. With set goals, it helps you to keep your marriage a top priority.
Marriage goals not only create an atmosphere of companionship, but they also help spouses to remain focused whenever their marriage is going through difficult transitions. SMART marriage goals should include all aspects of your marriage, physical, intellectual, financial, social, spiritual, everything that could affect your marriage. Like all other goals, they need to be written down. The difference between a wish and a goal is that you write a goal down and take continuous action towards realising it.
You must set goals towards spending time together if you want your relationship to flourish. When you neglect companionship, separation will begin to occur in your relationship. Communication is the backbone of your marriage.
Many marriages fail to reach their destination because of inadequate listening and poor understanding. Conflicts will inevitably occur in marriage, but with proper and regular communication, all problems can be solved.
Agree to talk about anything and everything. Nurture your friendship with your spouse so that you can feel comfortable discussing even the most difficult subjects. Tough conversations make you wiser and stronger and broaden your horizon. If you avoid difficult issues, they will eventually stifle your communication and ruin your marriage.
According to marital experts, money is the number reason for marital discord. There will always be an imbalance of income between you and your spouse and different money habits.
It is therefore essential to discuss your attitudes towards financial matters so that you can understand each other’s approach to making, spending and saving money. If you and your spouse are not on the same page concerning finances, it will be a constant source of tension throughout your marriage. For this reason, harmonise your activities towards money and ensure you are both part of the money-making decisions. Both of you should, at all times, know where the money is and where it goes. It takes effort to protect, nurture, and grow a marriage. Whatever your long-term goal is, ensure you are on the same page. Where do you want to be financially in a year or five? Develop a budget that gives a clear indication of where the money goes each month. Sit down with your spouse and give each dollar a name. This goal is essential since it will help you and your partner maintain intimacy, connectedness, empathy and feelings of security and inner peace. The smart option is to recognise and head off potential conflicts before they occur. Unless you want some major conflicts and resentment down the road, you must discuss even unglamorous topics from the word go. Bear in mind that you have become roommates for life. Why shouldn’t you discuss your habits?
Your marriage will be much easier if you are on the same page. And an added advantage it can be fun being each other’s accountability partner, whether it is in weight loss or any other venture. Marriages often begin to fall apart when one person is holding a grudge. Research has shown that feeling contempt toward your partner almost always festers and can lead to divorce if it’s never resolved.
Try to forgive your partner as quickly as possible. Remember that forgiveness is just as much a gift you give yourself. Holding a grudge takes up mental and emotional space and almost always impacts your health and stress levels.
Also opt for a forgiving spirit and you will reap the positive benefits, be it better sleep or stress relief.
If you have wronged your partner, sincerely apologise and ask for their forgiveness. Let them know you will work on how to do things differently in the future.
Your marriage is like no one else’s. Having your own goals gives your marriage the uniqueness and authenticity that it deserves. So, go on and set your own SMART goals. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. You cannot run a marathon successfully without proper planning. —
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