MOST times when people discuss good or bad sex, they are quick to blame or give praise to the man only forgetting that the game is not about an individual, but two people.
Everyone wants that desirable session which leaves both parties satisfied. If he is one of those who belong to the WhatsApp group of men who only manage quickies, you should help him to improve because sometimes you want something that lasts a little longer.
At this stage, it’s important to get a healthy sense of expectation. Research has it that an average sex session lasts about five minutes, not including foreplay. It was discovered that an “adequate” sex session lasts anywhere from three to seven minutes for ejaculation and “desirable” sex last from seven to thirteen minutes. The truth is that everyone wants the “desirable sex”. So to get this, it’s not about one person doing this and that, but team work.
It is unfortunate that I have heard some women boasting that they dumped a certain man because he was always doing quickies, leaving them unsatisfied. I wonder how long it will take them to get the kind of man they want. Instead of jumping from one relationship to another in search of that man who lasts longer, better deal with what you have to get what you want.
One has to understand that sometimes men who struggle to last long during sex are so highly aroused, they can’t prevent ejaculation from happening. To be able to last longer during sex, a man needs to learn how to hang out at lower levels of arousal for long periods of time. As his partner, you then have to know his G-spots well and avoid taking him to the point of no return at early stages.
It’s a fact, everyone wants great sex and to reach the big O. There’s no denying the mental and physical benefits of a sweet sack session.
Although it’s a common debate nowadays on whether or not you need to have an orgasm to have great sex, one thing everyone can agree on is the existence of the all-too-real orgasm gap.
Now the problem which most women have and it’s the reason why they do not enjoy the adult game is having a partner who does not last long enough. This is known to be a source of sexual dissatisfaction among couples.
With women wanting men to last longer and most men agreeing that longer lasting sex results in more intense orgasms, most couples resort to strategies that try to figure out ways men can delay their orgasms.
The most natural way to prevent an early end to sex is to start, stop and start again. If you are able to find what’s referred to as a mid-level of excitement, you can get back to business for a bit longer without getting the big O. Stop what you are doing once you are super close to orgasm, then chill for a bit, then start again.
Seriously, if this premature finishing situation doesn’t stem from a medical issue one way or another you will definitely deal with it.
Some couples now engage sex toys. Of course it might feel like “cheating” a little, but that shouldn’t matter when it comes to making sure you both orgasm. If he can’t last long enough for you to finish, wait until he’s close but not there yet and let him tag out and use a vibrator on you.
Then he can tag back in when you are both close to the finishing line. If this doesn’t go well with you, knowing we Africans, he can start by doing self service, “masturbation”. Having sex without masturbating is “like going out there with a loaded gun”. Self-service an hour or two beforehand makes it harder for a man to come quickly.
When he is quick to “cum” spending more time on foreplay helps. Yes, it might make the intercourse part a little shorter, but spending more time on foreplay so you are more warmed up will extend the sex session on the whole and make sure you are both satisfied.
Do not be disappointed when he “cums” too quick for you. Who says sex needs to be limited to just one round. Always go for the second one as these rounds are never the same. Many men experience less sensitivity during the second erection. As long as you don’t mind waiting the few minutes (or switching back to foreplay), and he can get it up relatively quickly, you should have better results in round two and three.
The other thing to take note of is that when you have been with the same partner for a while, your routine sex positions can make his body anticipate coming and thus come a lot sooner. New positions and sensations will distract him and make him last longer. The more awkward and unfamiliar, the better so always try to introduce something new.
Try perpendicular sex positions. This is technically an outercourse position, but it’s a way to avoid the most sensitive areas of the manhood (specifically, the underside of the head, where a lot of the nerves are located). Spoon or face each other on your sides, and it can still be enjoyable without making him rush to orgasm.
As much as we always encourage women to do kegel exercise to tighten their vajayjays, also encourage your partner to do it. Kegels strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which help him control orgasm spasms. Once he learns to manage this, even during the game, he will be on top of his game.
Next time you hear a sister blaming her partner for being a quickies expert, ask her if she has played her part well or not. It’s teamwork!
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