Is it viable without having sex?

24 Jul, 2020 - 01:07 0 Views
Is it viable without having sex?


Nhlalwenhle Ncube

I LOVE my husband and he is caring and fits perfect for what I always dreamt of, but our bedroom life is dead. So to make sure that I do not die of sex starvation I found myself someone to attend to that special need of mine and so I am happily married.

A number of women understand what I have just said, though it’s not exactly their story but they’ve got a dead sex life. Truth be told, cheating steals away your happiness and peace. It’s unfortunate some women end up thinking that the only solution to their bedroom problem is getting a substitute. Even if you do, know that your marriage is dead. Without sex, your marriage is not viable.

A marriage is a complex and complicated thing. I write now about a marriage that has lasted for years and that in the mind of one or both partners is still supposed to last for years to come.They believe in the relationship, love each other and plan for the future that they will stay together infinitely. The plan is a good one therefore, if you have bedroom challenges, don’t look for solutions outside but you have to team up with your partner and find a solution.

It is normal and in the nature of the human beings to think of relationships in a long-term. It is natural and it concords with the nature of humans to build and maintain lasting relations, but make sure there is honesty and truthfulness. It is good to have that intense union and confirm to each other through verbal, emotional and physical acts and start to feel deeply united realising you have a lifetime commitment to each other. You realise love exists in your home. With words, with infectious laughter, physical and spiritual presence, touching the bodies, one feels the other close, physically and mentally stripped, naked skin, erotic joy, tender and raw sexuality, all you can think of.

Most people based on the strong experience when they were falling in love, they stand on a solid rock to face years of hard work and challenges. Check how far you have come and bear in mind that with years feelings change, health changes and mind changes. Nothing rests the same over the years. A man or a woman is not a static object. Each person develops, you both change intellectually and emotionally. He is no longer the man he was yesterday and you are not the woman you were a year ago. Life is always in a continuous process of change. You can never step down into the same water as you got out of a moment ago. It can happen to anyone to start thinking that sex is boring. Almost every couple has to work through this experience and that’s where the quality of the relationship reveals itself. Jumping to find a substitute is not the way to go. Deal with your issues without cheating!

And what exactly is the quality of the relationship? The quality of the relationship reveals itself in the ways the partners manage to talk together and find solutions to the problems that arise. The quality of the relationship reveals itself in the ways the partners handle the challenges and successfully help each other when it is important to give support and to invest in the relationship. No one is perfect, and most people also admit that they are not perfect, when they have the time to think it over a little.

The moment of truth is when the couple plunges into the deepest challenges and they have to come out with a viable solution. Life in a relationship can indeed be very challenging! But it also gives much back when it is time to give back. There must be willingness on both sides to go back and try to fix things and to help each other to be the best version of themselves. In a relationship between two humans almost everything can be fixed even if there is no sex. There is one basic rule for a relationship, let’s say a classic one, a relationship where there is a woman and a man involved. There is sexuality. In the beginning much erotics, much sex. Do not be fooled when someone says it doesn’t matter as long as there is love. Sex has to be a part of the couple’s intimate life. If not, the couple and the relationship are in serious danger. Humans are enormously complicated beings as everyone knows, capable of the worst and the best. In a relationship this truth shows up at least as often as elsewhere.

Others cannot manage to have sex because of too many deceptions. Others have medical reasons, while some are done with sex because it’s boring and not satisfactory. Whatever excuse people have for not having sex with their partner in the marriage, when the partner needs sex there is no excuse! Almost no excuse. The relationship cannot exist in a healthy manner without sex. The partner who does not feel the longing for sex must try to see the needs of the other just like the other has become used to seeing the other and her or his lack of sexual need as an issue that is real. This lack of sexual lust should not be allowed to impact the couple’s life totally in a negative way.

Well, it is not that complicated. It’s about give and take, here as everywhere else in existence. There must be a balance and a practice in everyday life characterised by reciprocity and respect.

If a man thinks that his woman should be able to climax vaginally through penetrative sex he should at least educate himself to become a man with a more realistic and accurate vision of this matter. Same applies to a woman who does not feel the need for sex in the relationship any longer, she should think seriously through and as a team they should get help and not pretend as if it’s fine when it is not.

Be realistic and stop saying marriage is viable without sex. Better find a solution together because if someone goes solo in finding a solution there will be lies and cheating. When these two exist in a relationship, there is no peace, happiness and you are deceiving each other. Remember sex sells! Everyone will rush for it.

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