Fight with love

20 Sep, 2019 - 00:09 0 Views
Fight with love


Nhlalwenhle Ncube

NO two people in the world, no matter how made for each other they feel, will ever agree about everything at all times.

Each and every couple fights, but the only difference is that some fights end relationships while some are productive. It all depends on how you handle your fights and as a woman you should know how to handle them.

Wise women know how to argue and fight with their partners without bringing much destruction. It is said that there are three common kinds of patterns in fighting. In one pattern, partner A gets loud and aggressively pursues the other with nagging, screaming and name calling while partner B completely shuts down or physically leaves the situation. In another pattern, both partners escalate the argument. And then there are those who try to avoid confrontation altogether. Although they do get upset about things, they are usually the couples who claim that they do not fight with their partners.

Where do you belong? Fights, if not handled well, will create distance. You must not lose focus during the fights, be in control of your actions and words. What you do during and even after a fight may determine whether you will create a bigger gap between the two of you or come closer together. There is no way a couple can stay together and not argue, that is far from realistic! But you must know how to handle each other.

There is no way we can stick to the advice that women should always ignore and keep quiet when having issues with their partners. All you can do is stay humble and say out your wishes. Differences of opinion and conflicts will happen no matter how in love a couple may be. However, there are things that partners can do when they encounter difficulties, that are not only more useful ways to argue, but can actually foster closeness and connection. It’s all about accepting that you got different opinions, but by end of day you need to agree on something. Fighting with love means you argue not to win, but to reach an agreement and be productive. You do not just react but take a step back before responding. The pause allows you to choose the right words. This way, your response is not reactionary and allows you to better address the problem without turning it into a greater issue. You can also keep the fight under control by staying in the present. The minute you begin to bring old issues it will escalate into something terrible. Fights from the past will anger the other party as he realises that you are stuck at one point and not growing. Holding onto past woes builds resentment and over time that can be hard for both parties to bounce back from.

At times you need to control your temper so that you do not blow issues out of proportion. Some issues deserve to be ignored because even if you argue over them you will not come out with a solution. It is better to calm down and re-visit the disagreement when you are thinking more rationally and you will be less emotionally charged. While at this, avoid direct attack making it appear as if your partner is a failure or useless. Try to keep it calm so that he understands where you are coming from and you both manage to correct the mistake. When couples speak to each other from this softer place, a very different conversation ensues. They can find empathy for each other. Instead of distance, closeness is fostered. There is also opportunity for repair. Remember each and everyone has an ego and deserve respect! Even if you don’t succeed initially in changing how you approach each other, which can be difficult at first, try to fight with love and talk about your differences in a cool manner. It is healthy to have room for constructive criticism and lay out your different opinions without irritating each other. Each party needs to express intense feelings without fear of being judged. A wise woman seeks the necessary skills for friendly fighting. She deals with conflicts respectfully and leaves room for forgiveness. Friendly fighting means working out differences that matter. It means engaging passionately about things you feel passionate about, without resorting to hurting one another. It helps you let off steam without getting burnt and even after fighting, you can manage to let go and spoil each other. The way you fight shows your level of maturity. Fight to grow and at times accept that you are wrong. The problem with some people is they always want things done their way and win in every disagreement. In life you can not always be right, accept to learn and be corrected.

On the other hand, let there be fights in a relationship. If you think not fighting at all means your relationship is picture-perfect and super healthy, you are lost. Actually those who fight show they are realistic and are growing. Fighting indicates that both sides care. But if you are not serious, what’s the point? Fights are sometimes necessary and always bring the couple closer if done in the right manner. Feedback: [email protected]

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