IN a healthy relationship, one must feel safe, loved and cared for. Though it’s common to go through a roller coaster of emotions at times, but the swings should only go to a certain point. With all the different life events, there are some red flags and feelings which must never be tolerated as it signifies lack of communication, satisfaction and balance between you and your partner. These feelings are really dangerous to any relationship and have huge impact bringing negative results.
It’s a normal feeling to be happy, accepted and loved in a relationship and though you are bound to experience bouts of sadness, rage, and disappointment, the overall vibe should be positive. What’s more, negative emotions shouldn’t get too extreme, to the point where it becomes dangerous or abusive. If you are noticing bad feelings towards your partner, that don’t seem to be fixed through proper dialogue or learned lessons and behaviours, it could be time to evaluate your relationship and decide whether or not it’s right for you. You never want to feel out of control or stifled by a partner.
There are feelings that should never be tolerated or entertained when you are in a serious relationship and willing to save it no matter the circumstances. The minute you realise or start feeling as if your relationship is one-sided, act up. You should never feel that way in a relationship, it is an intuitive occurrence that most women often ignore because naturally they try to fix it. In a healthy and happy relationship such a feeling is destructive because both parties must work hard to keep each other happy and satisfied. Make sure you are both equals for greater satisfaction.
Also bear in mind that relationship is not work. Yes, work and effort make a relationship successful and sustainable, as people change and grow together, but if the relationship feels too much like a chore, it’s probably not the right path. Let’s say you’re fighting a lot, a relationship should not feel like work. This is a clue that your communication is off or that one of you did not listen to what you agreed to in order to move past that subject. You have to understand that you do whatever for your partner out of love, not because you have to fulfil a certain chore. Let love lead!
Feeling unappreciated in a relationship also affects the bond in a relationship. If you are feeling unappreciated, it’s best to evaluate the status of your relationship and decide next steps. If you feel like your partner consistently takes you for granted and doesn’t appreciate your contributions to the relationship, then it might be time to reassess why you are staying with that person. It is important to open up your heart and get the person to understand how much you are hurting. Keeping quiet and keeping issues to yourself is wrong and at times the other party may be taking some things for granted while you die in silence and misinterpret their actions. Once you start feeling unappreciated, the spark in the relationship will go off and only the worst could happen.
Relationships should be two-way streets where both people work out their differences and try to support the other person. You should never feel shame in a healthy relationship. A partner who resorts to shaming tactics (like humiliation) or feels ashamed of you definitely isn’t worth your time and energy. When together, you both should have good conversations and enjoy each other’s company, being fully present in the moment. But if your partner is always on his or her phone, like on social media and is ignoring you, it can feel pretty sucky. There are times when phones must be put aside as you entertain and have quality time. Rules must be set when it comes to phones at home. Self discipline is also crucial because these gadgets can destroy happy homes.
You should never feel anxiety in a happy relationship. This is a clear sign that there might be emotional abuse going on. You should feel happy and excited in a relationship, not worried all the time. Of course you might have bouts of tension, but unless they are resolved quickly, it could be related to a larger issue. Why should you be worried all the time, if it’s not A it’s B and that feeling is not healthy at all. If you feel like your partner is lying to you or deceiving you on a regular basis, it could indicate a trust issue, as well as a slew of other complications to make the relationship challenging and less fulfilling. Being able to feel safe and assured in your relationship is super important for it to further develop and deepen.
Do you feel like you are being raped? Even if you are in a relationship, you have to consent to sexual activities. If you are not in the mood or not interested, say it out. This is not a chore and you are not doing it to please anyone, but for both of you to get satisfaction. Here’s a sign something’s wrong, if your abusive partner emotionally manipulates you into sexual activities you don’t like. He may even emotionally arm-twist you by saying things like “other women do it!” Whatever you do, you must be comfortable with and both of you must enjoy.
It is important to be happy and free at your own home. If you are constantly feeling put down and criticised, it could mean that you are getting emotionally abusive treatment, which shouldn’t ever be tolerated. Disputing or correcting someone on points irrelevant to the main point being discussed is a key feature and the constant correcting keeps the abuser on top and his subject in a one-down position. If you notice any of these signs, it could mean your relationship isn’t healthy or on the right track for success. Making sure you are in a loving and accepting environment is so important for happiness within a partnership. Relationships are all about compromise and hard work, so try and avoid feelings which will impact negatively on your marriage.