EVERYBODY gets fed up! You have to be smart and avoid getting to such a point with your partner. Remember that you are not twins who have to be always by each other’s side. You need your space and same applies to him. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you must spend time with the person all day, every day. Things don’t work that way. If you suffocate your partner with your presence, your relationship won’t last, it becomes dull and boring.
Giving each other some space in a relationship may sound dramatic. It may sound like your relationship is struggling or you just can’t stand each other anymore, but that’s really not the case. Enjoying some alone time is a normal part of a healthy relationship.
I laugh when some women say that they don’t give their boyfriends and husbands space to enjoy themselves outside their relationships. These women don’t know that they are actually creating problems for themselves. You had a life before you met this man and you think that suffocating him with your presence, disturbing him with unending calls and bombarding his phones with constant messages will keep him by your side for life?
Even monitoring someone’s movement and calls is just not right, you are applying for high blood pressure. If your man or woman wants to cheat on you or deceive you, she will do it effortlessly under your nose without you suspecting a thing. Honestly, men and women in relationships need some space. They need time alone to rejuvenate and have fun. If couples learn to give each other space, they will become emotionally close.
And because they spend plenty of time together, creating intentional periods of space makes their relationship and marriage healthy. Spending time with your partner all the time may make your relationship boring and monotonous.
Yearning after your partner is an important part of keeping that excitement alive for years to come.
A tiny bit of inaccessibility, sometimes, is important to missing and craving your partner. And there can be none if you are always together. You do not have to be at each other’s heels all the time. If you are always together, you won’t give yourselves the chance to miss each other. You may even begin to take one another for granted, and not be as loving as you would like to be.
It is important for couples to spend quality time together to strengthen their bond, it is equally important for them to spend time apart to do their own thing and enjoy some alone time. Giving your partner some space is key to a lasting relationship and helps you maintain your individuality. Nothing beats “me time”. Some couples who drop their separate friends and separate interests become grumpy and bored in the long run.
You don’t need to spend time away from the things you love just because you are in a relationship now. Doing that will create sudden loss of an identity that was very important to you. There’s no need to lose that identity, whether you are just dating, in a long-term relationship, or married. By spending time apart and keeping up the things you love, you can still be the person you always were.
It is important for both partners to maintain a sense of independence outside of their relationship. By engaging in activities independent of each other, couples are better able to maintain their sense of self and bring diverse experiences to their relationship.
Another reason you must give your partner some space is that you must care for yourself in order to care for others. You simply cannot be a good caretaker to others, listening to their problems and taking care of their needs if you don’t take care of yourself first. As a human being, you need alone time to care for yourself.
Take time apart from your partner so you can do things you love like going to the gym to burn some calories, going for a quiet walk in your neighbourhood, meditation, having drinks with friends, or just watching a movie you love that your partner doesn’t like.
Some bad moods just have to pass. Sometimes, people get into a bad mood. No one thing caused it, and no one thing will fix it except for the passing of time. You know it’s true. Sometimes you just need to be cranky for a while. If you are insistent on being around your partner when he or she is cranky, they are bound to lash out at you. If you won’t take time alone when you are cranky, you will lash out at them too. You don’t need to see each other this way. It’s okay to sometimes say, “I’m in a bad mood. Can we just talk tomorrow?”
Remember that you fell in love with an individual, a person with his own friends, hobbies, passions, interests, and goals. You fell in love with a man who had a life of his own, so you have to let them have their independent life as well.
If you become one of those couples attached at the hip, the individuality of each of you will cease to exist. The person you fell in love with will fade away. You need to give your partner space to continue to be the individual you fell for, as they do with you.
Couples should know that not all thoughts should be expressed. We all have thoughts that we aren’t proud of. When left alone, they come and go. We have things we worry about that we shouldn’t worry about. We have nasty thoughts that aren’t very nice. We don’t entertain or express them all.
Part of the reasons couples are good to each other is that they want to make sure they keep each other. But, if there is no worry over that because you are literally always together, those acts of kindness can die off.
Couples should give each other some space because there is emotional growth that can only happen when they are away from their partners. Doing things like travelling alone or with friends lets you reconnect to yourself, to reflect, and to grow. You can only do that when you are free of worrying about the happiness and needs of your partner.
Without spending some alone time, you will feel stifled.
If you don’t take time apart and do things like travel separately, hang out with friends and spend some time taking care of yourself, your personal growth may become stifled and then you will feel it’s your partner’s fault. One way or another we have witnessed women who later regret and think that they were turned into zombies, without own life after getting married. The biggest mistake was deserting all life activities and all they did was getting glued to their partner which resulted in bad energy. You are not twins, you will get fed up so it is important to do different activities and get to miss each other.
Alone time is healthy, particularly in relationships. It’s imperative for recharging, re-centring, connecting with oneself and being able to show up to the relationship fully.
For comments email [email protected]