COMMENT: Let’s put ourselves in other people’s shoes

In some sections of society when a woman pays her own rent and buys food for herself, she is celebrated as being “independent, empowered feminist, woke, an inspiration…” and may other similar terms.

Needless to point out, she would have done what any normal human being is expected to do.

The problem arises when a man does the same thing but fails to do more.

This is the issue the contemporary musician Mzoe 7 is addressing in his latest offering Indoda Must, set for release next Wednesday.

The talented artiste speaks about how society has piled expectations on menfolk causing untold mental anguish and destructive feelings of inadequacy that may lead to suicide.

A man must buy his girlfriend gifts for Valentine’s Day, a man must fix his girlfriend’s hair and nails, a man must send his children to expensive schools, a man must drive a posh car…

These are some of the seemingly harmless statements that put tremendous pressure on males in society. Some good men have turned to crime to fulfill society’s expectations while others have become so overwhelmed that they just give up and end their lives.

It would be very interesting to hear what solutions Mzoe 7 has come up with to deal with the ever-increasing pressure on men.

One solution is to teach males from a young age that they must be the best version of themselves always, and be self-assured enough to ignore unrealistic demands on their capabilities. 

A report by the World Health Organisation (WHO) for 2018- 2019 ranks Zimbabwe 34th in suicide cases in a list of 182 countries the world. According to wolrdometers.info, there are 195 countries in the world.

According to police, In Zimbabwe more men kill themselves compared to women. 

National police spokesperson Assistant Commissioner Paul Nyathi is cited in the Press in 202 saying suicide rates are higher in men than in women in the country.

He said in 2015, 656 people were reported to have killed themselves and only 108 of them were female.

In 2016 there were had 818 cases of suicide but they were not broken down by gender while of the 389 cases recorded in 2017, 254 were male.

Of the 499 suicides recorded in 2018 male victims were 402 and of the 496 suicides in 201, only 69 were female.

Psychologists say the patriarchal nature of society bring unbelievable pressure to bear on males but unlike their female counterparts who can cry or talk about it, males are encouraged to bottle up emotions and act strong always.

This makes them vulnerable to drastic actions like suicide.

We can all play a part to reduce the number of people, especially men, that we lose daily to suicide.   

We should always strive to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and make reasonable demands on others. 

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