HOW comfortable is too comfortable?
After the honeymoon phase some couples slip into the next phase of their relationship labelled, “The Comfortable Phase.” Getting too comfortable in your relationship is a dangerous and risky ingredient to add to the batter of love.
During the comfort zone period, problems begin to mount in your relationship because you are taking everything for granted. The effort to maintain the marital connection is replaced by comfort and indifference and taking your partner for granted becomes the order of the day.
Of course I know that after marriage, you become content, which is a good thing to an extent. Although comfort in a relationship is blissful, comfort should not replace effort. Contentment should not replace nurture. Coziness should not replace sweet gestures. And more importantly, comfort should not replace sex and the incredible power of touch with your partner.
It is important to make the effort to at least semi-resemble emotionally, spiritually and physically the person that your partner was dating and ultimately married. Once married, it is crucial to maintain a semblance of the individual that your partner fell in love with. As humans, we need to feel wanted, loved and appreciated, especially by your partner. During the dating process, each party always demonstrates love and appreciation through loving gestures, outward affection, thoughtful planning and lots of sex! So why get into the comfort zone and adopt a bad attitude? In order to keep the rubber band of marriage tight and secure always maintain good standards and nurture your love. I have often wondered why, during the dating process, men love to kiss their woman and slip a little tongue into the kissing action. That’s sexy right? Why is it that as time goes on, women start to get a little less tongue action and a lot more peck on the cheek action? What is that all about? It’s comfort love creeping in. Once married, the effort you so painstakingly put into your auditions for the role of spouse will often fade away as you get comfortable and secure in your marriage. It is a bad thing!
Take not that am not suggesting you keep the momentum of the courting process going for the entirety of your marriage. Obviously, you will reach a certain plateau of comfort and security in a long-term relationship. When you are with your partner, always put effort and never get tired to keep the love light burning. The sweet compliments and gestures during the glorious days of dating should not fall prey to beast of comfort love.
The simple and undeniable fact is that if your marriage was to break up and you were to start dating again, you would put effort into your new partner. Getting too comfortable in your marriage and losing the desire to put in the effort is a danger zone which no one must enter. When you two are connected and close, everything else will fall into place. Beware of the mundane and monotonous routine that will send your marriage into a free fall.
Continue to be each other’s sweetheart after saying, “I do.” Don’t disappear on each other. The spark stays lit when the fire is nurtured. Put in the effort to plan dates. Plan a picnic, plan a day out and have some quality time together as it will keep your relationship blossoming.
When you get too comfortable in your relationship, you adopt certain behaviours that can drive men away without even knowing. Some of the bad behaviours include being moody, not loving and caring, being clumsy and not caring about your appearance. Men are disappointed with their life partners who change and get too comfortable.
Truth be told, it pisses them off. Wives who are in the comfort zone, spend most of their times wearing pyjamas and pulling socks to cover their hair. They only dress up when going out. Sometimes dress up for him, changing into a favourite pair of jeans and cozy tee-shirt can let him know that you want to look your best for him.
When the two of you started dating you probably gave him lots of passionate kisses. You probably texted him throughout the day just to let him know you care. Now when you text him throughout the day, it’s to remind him to make sure to buy groceries and other demands. You can still assign household responsibilities and be sexy about it. In fact, one of the great things about being in a long-term relationship is finding all of the different ways your love for each other can manifest positively in a day to day way!
Life doesn’t stop when a relationship starts, it has only just begun!
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