IF you are tired of your marriage, if you do not love your spouse anymore, the best thing to do is to leave them than to cheat.
Many people out there like to live life a little dangerously, the element of the furtive adds excitement with a married lover. Meeting on the quiet, trying to escape being noticed, arranging clandestine meetings, lends a certain charm to the affair.
There is always a certain lure about the forbidden. However, just as Adam regretted taking a bite out of the apple when Eve tempted him, a married lover is just that — forbidden fruit. Dating someone married is strictly out of bounds and off limits.
At some point, one way or the other, things will get out of hand when the affair comes out into the open. Ask the married lovers who make up this week’s lead story. The end is never nice. You have to be ready to deal with the repercussions of it. Are you ready to break up a family? You might console yourself by saying that your married lover already had problems before you came on the scene, but you must take responsibility for your actions and the role you have played in causing a deeper rift. If you had not been on the scene she or he might have tried harder, but your entering into the equation has definitely complicated things.
The combination of sex and secrecy is incredibly potent. The secrets will make you feel like you live in a separate world from everybody else. Also, it will be exciting that you could hurt him or her. You could ruin his or her marriage. You could cause her or him to lose a lot. That adrenalin makes the affair addictive and exciting but that won’t last.
So we urge you to stay away from the married lest you destroy not only a marriage, but a family. Children will suffer because of your actions. Or at worse the affair might end with someone dead as an estranged husband or wife who cannot stomach the affair turns murderous.
We pray for a Zimbabwe where couples are committed and faithful to each other. All marriages go through ups and downs, cheating does not save a dying marriage, it buries it. Therefore, if you want to save your marriage do not cheat, do not stray from the marital bed, love your husband; love your wife no matter what you are going through.
And to the cheated, we say do not blame the person your partner cheated with, blame your spouse. You are focusing on the wrong person if you are pissed at the person your partner cheated on you with. It’s not their fault he or she cheated. It’s not your fault. It’s their fault.
You have to accept that your partner is trash. They cheated because they wanted to, and could have cheated with whoever was willing. It’s their home the cheaters are choosing to destroy. It’s their marriage vows they choose to break. It’s their partner they choose to betray. If you are in a marriage and you made a commitment to be faithful to each other, the person who chooses to break that commitment is the home wrecker, not the one outside of it.
Make our jobs difficult by staying away from the married.